Tag: teenagers

CCChhh Chh Chh Ch Changes

Published on by The Domesticated Ms HemsworthLeave a comment

Since my last blog update I have come to the realisation that I am actually closer to 5o than I am to 40 now and Ive been blogging for close to 10 years.

Yesterday on her sometimes weekly Wine and Whine Live at 5 update Mrs Woog stated that she had attended a Bloggers Brunch and that the landscape of Bloggery has changed. Now out there, Bloggers are no longer Bloggers, and its not the written word that sells the blog but the ability to be STUNNING and take an exceptional photo of your food, your home, your immaculately dressed person your IMMACULATE EVERYTHING, and post it on INSTA for all to see.

Well Im not the best Insta person. And I still enjoy a good sit down and write and Ive noticed in the last few weeks, that I gain followers daily, and Ive not done a bloody thing!

So Im not immaculate, I am a 46 year old suburban mum of two teens and I navigate the world somedays in my PJs. I do love a decent pair of Peter Alexanders ( THEY HAVE POCKETS) and I still wouldn’t be seen dead in them on a dash down the street to grab the forgotten milk, but I have been known to don the dressing gown and do the last minute dash to chase the bus of a morning ( purely because I can not be arsed doing the hour round trip to get one child across the other side of the lake knowing the other child will sleep through it all and I will have to chase him once the first drop off is done).

Im messy, I have a messy mind at times, I have two titanium knees now, that I didn’t have when I first started blogging and I don’t have small children anymore, Ive got children who are bigger than me. I am now the short fat one in the family. me at 46 2

So the last two and a bit years have been fairly horrific really . Probably why I haven’t written much because if you whinge about it on the web then its real. And the reality has been sucky. Certainly nothing that you want to see on the beautiful feeds in the Insta world.

It began with a reluctant business explosion basically on the dawn of my first knee replacement that IMPLODED with such gravity that it threw me into an horrific head space that wasn’t helpful at all for a  major surgery recovery and the waves they just kept crashing.

My Dad had a stroke and was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, my mother in law entered end stage dementia and languished in pain and somewhere in between reality and death for over two weeks in hospital and once we thought the world was starting to spin on its correct axis again my Aunty was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer and we had to say our goodbyes. So yeah. Blogging wasn’t really up there on my radar as I didn’t have much pretty to add to the world. I might add that MOST of this occurred while I was myself in hospital with my first knee replacement.

Im now entering approximately my 8th month with my second knee replacement and life is kind of sort of maybe starting to achieve some sort of balance. The fog of pain has lifted. the grief from the sadness and loss is still there some days and raw. Im now dealing with my sister and her mess but Ive managed to successfully distance myself emotionally from this as far as I can as its something that I really don’t know if at this stage I have the strength to deal with effectively. My priorities have changed with my perspective.

My priorities are my immediate family.  My husband and my two children and ME. I am a priority and I DO COUNT. And Im ready to show my voice again.

So people in the blogosphere.. what is it you need. Life reality and all its bits? Recipes and daily anecdotes of how to navigate the world successfully, how to fall and get back up?

Are you the same as me? Closer to half a century now ( I had a meltdown when I turned 25..Im trying to build myself up that 50 is going to be great) . The reality of me is this. I have found far too much weight has discovered my bottom during my surgical recovery. Life is slow, and forcefully so as I may have two titanium knees, but I also now have feet and ankles full of Osteoarthritis and this slows me down most days.

I still love a good coffee and Ive finally convinced the OH to bend and get me a Nespresso Creatista ( and before you jump on me for adding pods to the world I DO RECYCLE THEM SO THERE). We now own 6 wonderful chickens, who Im am convinced have SAVED me just as much as we saved them. They are funny, courageous and loving. They are a joy to watch and provide me with gifts of eggs for my breakfast. And every day with them is a gift. They have taught me I can do things I thought previously incapable and for that I am grateful. They have made me tackle our back steps and yard. They boss about the dog and they do think they run the place and I love them. If you are in a mental fog – my best advice if grab yourself a couple of chickens. Rescue some girls and the love will enter your hearts.

Im getting into cooking and weekly I have decided to produce little muffins for my little muffin ( well she’s not so little she’s on the edge of 17 and has to dash to early starts at school two days a week with her Chai to go and a nourishing Mummy Muffin). Do you want me to post my weekly muffin recipe? No mixing appliances involved as a muffin needs to be wooden spooned ?

Tell me.. give me feedback. Let me know you’re listening..

Yours Always

Ms Hemsworth

 

40 Something something….

Published on by The Domesticated Ms Hemsworth2 Comments

I’ve realised this week that when I took a time out to write 5 years ago ( now 7), I actually didn’t know it back then, but I was about to perform a vanishing act.

7 Years ago I was still in my 30’s and full of all the optimism and infallibility that this brings. I had two under teenage children, who I could literally just say – we are doing this or we are going there and they couldn’t and wouldn’t complain. Fast forward… Im now closer to 50 this year ( better start planning THAT one – 4 years to do it), I have teenagers, who sleep, eat and complain, and I am lost. Invisible. And lonely.

Television shows like Grace and Frankie, hit my reality button right in the feels. You know the episode where the girls go to a convenience store to make a purchase and the guy on the checkout overlooks them for the cute busty twenty something? And they realise they have this superpower of invisibility? Yeah well there is that…sometimes its hilarious , and sometimes its just plain sad…. Last night the first wives club was on, and the scene where the remaining wives get the letter from Cynthia… who seemed to have everything but pinpointed loneliness as to why she jumped? Yeah that. Ive been there. I can still get there, and its taken hard work, tears and self realisation to be able to joke about it and get on with life. And Im surrounded by people who currently have villages, but feel so lonely and empty … and sometimes I do not know what to do or how to help them, because Ive been there and its hard, so damned hard to ask for help and admit that theres this great black arsed hole wanting to swallow you down.

So, heres my admission.

I am the wife of a weekend worker. 16 hours, 3 days a week, Friday to Sunday. Usually encompassing several hours of planning at home on Wednesday and Thursday evenings that includes swearing, ranting at computer screens and occasional phone calls during “our weekend” time from work and trips back to work.

Mondays are fairly much written off. Too exhausted to do anything, go anywhere. If we plan to go on holidays, it don’t happen till a Tuesday, cause he don’t even wanna drive a car. And I feel guilty if I plan or do anything.

For the last three years we have done nothing on our weekends, but work around and on our home. Or ferry me to appointments, including, physio, rehab, specialists and hospitals. Thats what my life has become. Im only JUST NOW, starting to emerge again. And HOLY SHIT its scary.

Ive realised, that I don’t know how to shop, unless its for something in particular and then its in and out.

I don’t know how to socialise with other people, it always feels like the wrong thing spills out of my mouth inappropriately.

Ive realised, I alienate people as I don’t know how to really people anymore.

Ive realised, that as the lovely young man who tried to convert me to his faith at the door just said, Saturday is for relaxing so he wont take my time… I don’t know how to relax anymore. I can’t even sit still long enough for a massage or a facial. And even though I get my nails done monthly, the thought of sitting there for the hour with someone touching my hands and all the chatter going on scares the bejeezus out of me. Every fricking time, Im sooooo out of my comfort bubble.

Today, Id love to go to the markets. Id love to wander. Id love to have a girlfriend I could call to say do you want to come with. But I don’t have anyone at present to come with, as we are all in different stages and zones.

Ive never been good at making friends, I see this reflected in my children. It also scares me.

I totally stepped out of my comfort zone on Thursday. I went to a ladies networking function. I don’t think I networked very well, as Ive forgotten how ( Im more an observer these days). But I did walk away with a little more confidence, to blat on my blog again. I also walked away with a gorgeous scarf, thanks to popping some pink feathers on my head you can find Vicki-Jayne here ( hart for your home). And to top it off I won first prize in the raffle, raising funds for Destiny Haven, an amazing charity empowering women.

The featured image for this blog is from our last family getaway. Three years ago. Pre surgery, pre weight gain, pre everything. So yep its been that long since my family actually did something together.

The prize I won is a retreat for two nights midweek to Valley View Lodge at Eaglereach Resort. And we are going, as a family. No you tube allowed. Its not going to happen till later in the year, but it is going to happen. Grumping teenagers or not.

Now… off to go to the markets after I hang the washing. Probably with myself as company. If you see me, say hello.

Ms Hemsworth