Category: Friendship

CCChhh Chh Chh Ch Changes

Published on by The Domesticated Ms HemsworthLeave a comment

Since my last blog update I have come to the realisation that I am actually closer to 5o than I am to 40 now and Ive been blogging for close to 10 years.

Yesterday on her sometimes weekly Wine and Whine Live at 5 update Mrs Woog stated that she had attended a Bloggers Brunch and that the landscape of Bloggery has changed. Now out there, Bloggers are no longer Bloggers, and its not the written word that sells the blog but the ability to be STUNNING and take an exceptional photo of your food, your home, your immaculately dressed person your IMMACULATE EVERYTHING, and post it on INSTA for all to see.

Well Im not the best Insta person. And I still enjoy a good sit down and write and Ive noticed in the last few weeks, that I gain followers daily, and Ive not done a bloody thing!

So Im not immaculate, I am a 46 year old suburban mum of two teens and I navigate the world somedays in my PJs. I do love a decent pair of Peter Alexanders ( THEY HAVE POCKETS) and I still wouldn’t be seen dead in them on a dash down the street to grab the forgotten milk, but I have been known to don the dressing gown and do the last minute dash to chase the bus of a morning ( purely because I can not be arsed doing the hour round trip to get one child across the other side of the lake knowing the other child will sleep through it all and I will have to chase him once the first drop off is done).

Im messy, I have a messy mind at times, I have two titanium knees now, that I didn’t have when I first started blogging and I don’t have small children anymore, Ive got children who are bigger than me. I am now the short fat one in the family. me at 46 2

So the last two and a bit years have been fairly horrific really . Probably why I haven’t written much because if you whinge about it on the web then its real. And the reality has been sucky. Certainly nothing that you want to see on the beautiful feeds in the Insta world.

It began with a reluctant business explosion basically on the dawn of my first knee replacement that IMPLODED with such gravity that it threw me into an horrific head space that wasn’t helpful at all for a  major surgery recovery and the waves they just kept crashing.

My Dad had a stroke and was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, my mother in law entered end stage dementia and languished in pain and somewhere in between reality and death for over two weeks in hospital and once we thought the world was starting to spin on its correct axis again my Aunty was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer and we had to say our goodbyes. So yeah. Blogging wasn’t really up there on my radar as I didn’t have much pretty to add to the world. I might add that MOST of this occurred while I was myself in hospital with my first knee replacement.

Im now entering approximately my 8th month with my second knee replacement and life is kind of sort of maybe starting to achieve some sort of balance. The fog of pain has lifted. the grief from the sadness and loss is still there some days and raw. Im now dealing with my sister and her mess but Ive managed to successfully distance myself emotionally from this as far as I can as its something that I really don’t know if at this stage I have the strength to deal with effectively. My priorities have changed with my perspective.

My priorities are my immediate family.  My husband and my two children and ME. I am a priority and I DO COUNT. And Im ready to show my voice again.

So people in the blogosphere.. what is it you need. Life reality and all its bits? Recipes and daily anecdotes of how to navigate the world successfully, how to fall and get back up?

Are you the same as me? Closer to half a century now ( I had a meltdown when I turned 25..Im trying to build myself up that 50 is going to be great) . The reality of me is this. I have found far too much weight has discovered my bottom during my surgical recovery. Life is slow, and forcefully so as I may have two titanium knees, but I also now have feet and ankles full of Osteoarthritis and this slows me down most days.

I still love a good coffee and Ive finally convinced the OH to bend and get me a Nespresso Creatista ( and before you jump on me for adding pods to the world I DO RECYCLE THEM SO THERE). We now own 6 wonderful chickens, who Im am convinced have SAVED me just as much as we saved them. They are funny, courageous and loving. They are a joy to watch and provide me with gifts of eggs for my breakfast. And every day with them is a gift. They have taught me I can do things I thought previously incapable and for that I am grateful. They have made me tackle our back steps and yard. They boss about the dog and they do think they run the place and I love them. If you are in a mental fog – my best advice if grab yourself a couple of chickens. Rescue some girls and the love will enter your hearts.

Im getting into cooking and weekly I have decided to produce little muffins for my little muffin ( well she’s not so little she’s on the edge of 17 and has to dash to early starts at school two days a week with her Chai to go and a nourishing Mummy Muffin). Do you want me to post my weekly muffin recipe? No mixing appliances involved as a muffin needs to be wooden spooned ?

Tell me.. give me feedback. Let me know you’re listening..

Yours Always

Ms Hemsworth

 

40 Something something….

Published on by The Domesticated Ms Hemsworth2 Comments

I’ve realised this week that when I took a time out to write 5 years ago ( now 7), I actually didn’t know it back then, but I was about to perform a vanishing act.

7 Years ago I was still in my 30’s and full of all the optimism and infallibility that this brings. I had two under teenage children, who I could literally just say – we are doing this or we are going there and they couldn’t and wouldn’t complain. Fast forward… Im now closer to 50 this year ( better start planning THAT one – 4 years to do it), I have teenagers, who sleep, eat and complain, and I am lost. Invisible. And lonely.

Television shows like Grace and Frankie, hit my reality button right in the feels. You know the episode where the girls go to a convenience store to make a purchase and the guy on the checkout overlooks them for the cute busty twenty something? And they realise they have this superpower of invisibility? Yeah well there is that…sometimes its hilarious , and sometimes its just plain sad…. Last night the first wives club was on, and the scene where the remaining wives get the letter from Cynthia… who seemed to have everything but pinpointed loneliness as to why she jumped? Yeah that. Ive been there. I can still get there, and its taken hard work, tears and self realisation to be able to joke about it and get on with life. And Im surrounded by people who currently have villages, but feel so lonely and empty … and sometimes I do not know what to do or how to help them, because Ive been there and its hard, so damned hard to ask for help and admit that theres this great black arsed hole wanting to swallow you down.

So, heres my admission.

I am the wife of a weekend worker. 16 hours, 3 days a week, Friday to Sunday. Usually encompassing several hours of planning at home on Wednesday and Thursday evenings that includes swearing, ranting at computer screens and occasional phone calls during “our weekend” time from work and trips back to work.

Mondays are fairly much written off. Too exhausted to do anything, go anywhere. If we plan to go on holidays, it don’t happen till a Tuesday, cause he don’t even wanna drive a car. And I feel guilty if I plan or do anything.

For the last three years we have done nothing on our weekends, but work around and on our home. Or ferry me to appointments, including, physio, rehab, specialists and hospitals. Thats what my life has become. Im only JUST NOW, starting to emerge again. And HOLY SHIT its scary.

Ive realised, that I don’t know how to shop, unless its for something in particular and then its in and out.

I don’t know how to socialise with other people, it always feels like the wrong thing spills out of my mouth inappropriately.

Ive realised, I alienate people as I don’t know how to really people anymore.

Ive realised, that as the lovely young man who tried to convert me to his faith at the door just said, Saturday is for relaxing so he wont take my time… I don’t know how to relax anymore. I can’t even sit still long enough for a massage or a facial. And even though I get my nails done monthly, the thought of sitting there for the hour with someone touching my hands and all the chatter going on scares the bejeezus out of me. Every fricking time, Im sooooo out of my comfort bubble.

Today, Id love to go to the markets. Id love to wander. Id love to have a girlfriend I could call to say do you want to come with. But I don’t have anyone at present to come with, as we are all in different stages and zones.

Ive never been good at making friends, I see this reflected in my children. It also scares me.

I totally stepped out of my comfort zone on Thursday. I went to a ladies networking function. I don’t think I networked very well, as Ive forgotten how ( Im more an observer these days). But I did walk away with a little more confidence, to blat on my blog again. I also walked away with a gorgeous scarf, thanks to popping some pink feathers on my head you can find Vicki-Jayne here ( hart for your home). And to top it off I won first prize in the raffle, raising funds for Destiny Haven, an amazing charity empowering women.

The featured image for this blog is from our last family getaway. Three years ago. Pre surgery, pre weight gain, pre everything. So yep its been that long since my family actually did something together.

The prize I won is a retreat for two nights midweek to Valley View Lodge at Eaglereach Resort. And we are going, as a family. No you tube allowed. Its not going to happen till later in the year, but it is going to happen. Grumping teenagers or not.

Now… off to go to the markets after I hang the washing. Probably with myself as company. If you see me, say hello.

Ms Hemsworth 

 

 

Not a sad post

Published on by The Domesticated Ms HemsworthLeave a comment

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Grief. Its a sneaky bitch. You can be cruising along thinking that everything is ok – and then BAM you have a moment – sometimes you have a whole bloody day where anything and everything just jumps up smacks you down and makes you a weeping mess.

All over our social media feeds there is negativity – violence – confusion – sadness and anger. One friend even wanted to know today is 2016 was simply a big joke on all of us?

Im sitting here wondering about this year – and what is it that has made it seem like we’ve been on a permanent retrograde ride?

So Im going to try now to focus on some positives – because surely if we focus on the positive and beauty then overwhelmingly – things can all start to move upward.

A friend of a friend today won an award – recognising her strength in the face of great adversity. This woman has chosen to take her grief and turn it into a massive positive. Through her grief she makes a difference. Through her pain she touches and changes so many lives. I couldn’t think of a more deserving winner for this award. Ive never met her but I know of her and her story and Ive witness how she touches and inspires through my dear friend. If you want to read her story its here.

Ive been so lost in my own grief and tragedy lately that I have forgotten to look about me and see how others are shining and turning adversity around. I have a dear friend who has turned her life around and she inspires me regularly. Ive just been so busy in my grief bubble that I haven’t allowed it in you can read about her here.

As we near the season of goodwill and giving – I guess its time to reassess what we have been through and what we are focussed on this year and into next. This morning at the supermarket – I was popping my token into the trolley and it wouldn’t work. A gorgeous elderly gentleman offered me a hand – I could see he was struggling himself, and I said to him no – but thank you, I had a coin Id try that instead ( he even offered me a coin). Its been so long since I actually shopped in this particular supermarket I didn’t realise they have taken away the need for tokens and coins and bunged up the coin holes. He had worked this out and pulled out my trolley for me. I thanked him and went on my way.

But it made me think. Last weekend I was at another supermarket and could see an elderly gentleman struggling in the wind putting away his trolley. I thought do I offer him my coin ( I needed a trolley too) and take his trolley for him? But Im so used to rudeness – and I guess simply so involved in my grief bubble at the moment that I walked on. I regret that I walked on.  But my grief bubble has been somewhat impenetrable lately.

Another friend posted on her social media page today about Kindness. And how kindness costs nothing. This is true – it really does cost nothing to smile, to offer assistance, to simply say thank you and mean it.

So I guess – its time. To say thank you, to stop tearing each other down and to start with kindness. And as my friend so eloquently put it – SPRINKLE THAT SHIT EVERYWHERE.

“Kindness In Words Creates Confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in Giving Creates LOVE.” Lao Tzu

“Beginning today , treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” Og Mandino

Today and from here on – I choose kindness. What do you choose?

 

 

The Night before the Night Before

Published on by The Domesticated Ms Hemsworth1 Comment
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An arctic blast has hit the East Coast of Australia – last year when this happened we went South down Canberra way to go a visiting with good friends and to culturalise the children ( I know thats not a word – I made it up and its mine now). We went to the National Gallery and Questacon and The Australian War Memorial and had an amazing time staying right in the heart of Canberra.

We discovered on our last night there that we happened to be just around the corner from the BEST STEAKS I have ever eaten and also discovered that if you are a keen foodie that The Berra is a great place to visit and enjoy.

This year however – with school holidays one week away I find myself preparing for a total replacement of my right knee. So we will not be going anywhere to enjoy the Wintery-ness that the country is currently serving up. Instead Im at home with A Rich Lamb Shank Curry slow roasting in the oven and my dressing gown on with the fire roaring and the air conditioner set to heat because its so BLOODY COLD!!!

I met Ms N Corner at Speers Point Farmers Markets today – as we have gotten into the habit of doing every second Saturday. Me with my granny trolley in tow, her freshly sweaty from the gym. But today she made a BIG MISTAKE – because Sweaty and ICY COLD WIND BLASTING OFF THE LAKE – was not wise. So we did what we needed and popped back to my place for a nice hot coffee and she gave me some of her delicious NON PEANUT BUTTER CUPS – Which Im sure if I convince her she will guest blog or at least link us up. They are refined sugar free – but they do contain Rice Malt Syrup – so they are not essentially Keto but they will suit the Low Fodmaps and intolerants out there and they PASSED the Peanut Butter Cup Radar of Little Miss M. Who scoffed one down and pronounced them DELICIOUS… Now to hide them so they are still here when I get home from hospital or – do I take them in my bag?? What to do??

I guess the point of this long winded post is to say – that Monday – I will be out of contact for a while – possibly till Tuesday. Surgery is set – Im third on the list and apparently they will have my new knee up and out of bed by Monday afternoon.

I have a stash of recipes for you to keep you entertained – Im trying to pop them into the draft section because obviously scheduling doesn’t work and will get them off too you one a week.

Over my convalescence I wont be in the kitchen much instead I will bring you some handy hints and tips and some link backs to where I’ve found the best purchases in the last 12 months since my kitchen exploded and we started renovating. We have discovered that we are quite exceptional making the best of small spaces and limited budgets.

So until tomorrow when you get your shank recipe.. Thats me…

Off to wallow in probably what will be my last bath in my new tub for the next 12 weeks ( the weather will be warm again by then)..

Much Love and Warm Hugs xoxo Ms H

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Published on by The Domesticated Ms HemsworthLeave a comment

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I am lucky. I am blessed. I have quite the quirky collection of the most gorgeous friends. We don’t live in each others pockets but when ever assistance or laughter is needed we are there.

I do have a failing of being busy all the time and sometimes I feel I can be a terrible friend. But I have found in the last few days I do have a crowd of wonderful supportive women around me who care and will jump in and help me out when Im stressed or down. They are the best.

Its not long now till the big day of knee replacement arrives and Ive been luck enough to receive a couple of wonderful care packages from two of my far away friends up the coast. Lets call them the Onas… A gorgeous colouring book full of cats and a set of lovely pencils arrived the other week pre surgery delay from one Ona.. Its in the hospital bag ready to go. because – she said when you’re in the pain and on the drugs reading wont make any sense. And then the postie knocked at the door again. Some lovely hand cream and a pretty perfume package so I can keep smelling lovely in hospital from Ona further up the coast. Its in the bag too. Thank you girls xoxo Love you both to death.

And now to K & L, who rallied to my aid and brain stormed with me the other day, even with me with my wet hair in a turban and looking like something the cat coughed up after a night of no sleep. Brainstorm, coffee and laughter. And the boost I needed to keep going. And not throw it all away. The push I needed to change evolve and keep going when I was at the lowest of low points. The love the laughter the direction. I can not thank these girls enough. To drop what they were doing and come to assist me. The love is overwhelming.

Yesterday I was on a retail mission, I needed retail therapy and a phone call came in. Instantly that phone call became a coffee date filled with laughter and retail therapy. Ive been so snowed under with renovations and business building Id almost forgotten what the outside world looked like. This was another K in my life. AND it was the best medicine. I really needed that yesterday. I could have stayed in and wrapped myself in my heated blanket but Im so glad I went out and laughed and laughed and shopped. And my mission – to find a new stool for the bathroom? COMPLETE! as well as a new dress for a formal event I need to find and attend.

To N – In Melbourne. You have been in my life for so many years now, almost too m any to count. You have come to my rescue with your advice and support. Even with the crazy that constantly circulates in your super busy life you always always have the time and the energy to make me laugh. Your support and your advice I can not put a value on. Your friendship means the world xoxo

The phone calls, the messages the love and the support that I have received in the last couple of days are what have kept me moving forward . What has kept me strong. Today with the rain Im feeling a low coming. But the idea is not to dwell but to keep moving slowly forward. Today Im going to breathe and watch a movie. Im going to take some down time with my children.

Today I move further forward and I say thank you to  my beautiful friends xoxo

 

Sunday bloody Sunday

Published on by The Domesticated Ms HemsworthLeave a comment

7am on a  Sunday morning – I guess at least its not 4am. The Dog decided that he was going to eat a bone last night that I GAVE HIM – Big mistake as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman would say  “Huge Mistake”. The furry little beggar  has been rolling around with it on the back deck all night he even used it to door knock me this morning – which is why I am awake. I did my market shopping yesterday, I don’t want to be awake this early on a Sunday. Its a long weekend – and he’s not getting another bone today!

Ok market haul. I also co-run a group and another blog called Sugarblitzers  you can read about it if you click the word. Its got all sorts of recipes we’ve been creating in an attempt to highlight the sometimes dangerous and always stupid amounts of sugar hidden in modern foods. We are not Sugar Nazis – but we are carb aware over there and we do realise our bodies do not need the massive amounts of carbs in modern foods – because frankly even though we are a busy society we are also a convenient society that likes to shove fast , easy and crap filled into our faces to fill our bellies. Oh and this way of Low Carb or Carb Aware eating – it has a side effect. You feel great and you may lose weight! Hows that?

So yesterday I ventured to the Speers Point Farmers Market with my Mate Ms N Corner if you click on that link you will find her often hilarious, heartwarming and wonderful blog. ( She’s worth a follow) . She arrived a little late – because she’s a GYM JUNKIE and LOVING IT and while I completed my purchase and called back TURDBOY who was at a sleepover – she got her bucket of delicious apples. We wandered, we chatted and she bought me a much needed coffee as I had forgotten to eat. I remembered this later when my children found my sourdough still in the toaster – defrosted but not toasted. We also had a conversation about crochet – you see my friend is a talented crochet person artiste indeed and is having her first ever market stall today ( and I am going to visit her again with a bag of oranges and a disc for her dog Scout). I have been inspired by her crochet and not having one crafty or patient bone in my body with looming knee surgery – I have taken it upon myself to teach me how to crochet. ( and Ms N Corner gave me my first hook and wool for my birthday). I am creating a lap rug I think. Its more like a really long rainbow worm. And late last night we decided what I do is FREESTYLE CROCHET and its not craft its art as Ive made my own rules and my own stitch – which I call finger knitting stylishly. (with pretty wool that the cats like to chase).

I also purchased at the markets Meat from the Muswellbrook Meat man – who had lovely juicy Beef Spare Ribs in the back of his truck ( and the can not live without for my children Lamb Cheese and Chive Filler Free Sausages). I visited the Over The Moon Dairy stand where I purchased my latest addiction to go with one of my latest creations – Jersey Milk Yoghurt ( which goes with my Refined Sugar Free Passionfruit Curd and Toasted Almonds – oh god thats good),  and then I found Tar10 , who Ive found before but on my mission of sugar reduction have always dismissed any pre packaged sauces. Well guess what? They are local, they are fresh and they are gluten and refined sugar free – so in my Tar10 bag – I have Roasted Garlic Aioli – we had on my Chicken Schnitzels from the SB Blog last night ( delicious ) and some watermelon and chilli vinegar which the dude at the stall assures me is a great sub for sweet chilli sauce and that with Coconut Aminos is making me a marinade for my spare ribs tonight for dinner! ALL THE NOMS.. Check out Tar10 here . And the deliciousness that is everything Over the Moon Dairy here .

I also bought some lovely roses and plenty of vegetables and my fridge is full of green and goodness and I can’t wait to play in the kitchen later.

Note all of my purchases were paid for and this is not a sponsored post. 

Have a great Sunday xoxo Mrs Cuppy