Foreward: This last four months have turned out to be one of the most trying and difficult times for our family. With the passing of my Mother In Law, My Father having a stroke and now my Aunty being diagnosed and passing from brain cancer in the last seven and a half weeks – its certainly not been easy. It probably wasn’t the best time for me to embark on a knee replacement – but honestly – with all that we have gone through – this can only serve to make me stronger. It was Aunty Robs funeral today and we’ve have had some little happenings – I believe thanks to her!
On the night she passed Mum and I both reported an inability to sleep and Mum heard someone whisper to her at about 2.30am – that Mrs Winfield was gone now.. I finally was able to sleep and deeply at this time too – and its about then she drew her final breath.
This morning she’s been sitting on my shoulder telling me things Ive missed in her eulogy – which I fear was already so long I bored the pants off people. But the coffee machine screeched at me and I jumped and I heard – ” Oh You Silly Bitch” and laughter… The shoes I had intended to wear – one mysteriously went missing…and I was “told” to wear flats.. Mum turned up in heels and the message for her was “Didn’t you get the memo??” to which she argued she did – and I was told to tell her she was a silly bitch too… I’ve also been told I have to carry on the tradition of the Boxing Day Pot Luck with my cousins.. Aunty Rob was the co-ordinator of this event and everyone was to bring leftovers from Christmas Day and drink wine and enjoy… So OK ROB OK… Like I said … I GOT THE MESSAGE!
Other strange things that happened today are my sister and my husbands rings broke at exactly the same time as each other – and my brother in law was being a fool and the car door slammed on his hand. And Mums chain just broke as she took it off.. All the weirdness…
All the Calla Lillies from pups Aunty Rob had given mum bloomed and the roses she grew from Aunty Robs cuttings went off too. I have not inherited this green thumb business at all… So this is a personal post.. AND A REALLY REALLY LONG ONE.. You might get bored reading it…
Donations for Brain Cancer Research can be made to The Mark Hughes Foundation And Carrie Bickmores Beanies For Brain Cancer
I accepted the honour of writing and reading this eulogy – because recently I lost my mother in law, she had many grown grandchildren who chose to stand up together for her. My middle stepdaughter was the one who wrote a eulogy for her nan and pieced together a photo montage – and it was a beautiful tribute, all stood up and said their part – including my son – who didn’t say anything but he stood up for his Nan.
You see Robs grandkids are mostly all pretty little and – they had only just started to make memories with her. So I guess – my kids inspired me – if they can do this so can I.
Robyn Clare Watson was born on the 31st May 1950. A second daughter to Bob and Clare– Little Sister for Marlene and later big sister to Raymond. She – like me was a middle child and we shared a bond. She was also my Godmother, and friend as well as my Aunty.
Now I don’t want to waffle but I do want to share some memories of Aunty Rob. And I’ve asked a few of those close – things they recall, special or funny moments.
I know little things – like when the family lived in Paxton my Granddad would often go on benders and bring home odd things to eat – one day even a spit roasted wombat. Waste not want not… Although I’m fairly certain that’s a memory that sticks because its was fairly revolting. The family moved from Paxton to Bolwarra and lived close by to Uncle Ray and Aunty Gwen in Addison Road.
I know Mum and Aunty Rob shared a bedroom. And Mum has a couple of memories from Addison Road. The first one is of when they first moved there from Paxton. They would ride their little bikes up and down the street and the local kids would ask – “Where are you from??” Of course – no one from Bolwarra knew where in the world Paxton was ( its still out the back of nowhere ville Cessnock) and Marlene and Robyn would answer cheekily “ Pak- IS- Ton..” ( Pakistan).
Mum recalls that having only 15 months between them she always had Aunty Rob in tow. Even the local dances at Bolwarra Hall when they were teens.
Mum came home one afternoon to find a young man in her fathers birdcage. He took quite a shine to her – but she wasn’t that impressed. He went to the trouble of finding out where they attended the local dance and started to come along too. This man would later become my Dad.
One night Young Royce- plucked up the courage to ask if he could drive Mum home. Mum said yes – but that her sister will have to come too ( home was only just around the corner from the hall , you could probably have jumped the back fence!
But into Dads UTE they popped – with Aunty Rob ever the younger sister – parking herself in the middle – just to ensure there was no monkey business ( in the two minute drive – if that) .
Other fond memories include family holidays on the farm and at Yango. Where as children Marlene, Robyn and Raymond and other cousins would roam and explore and climb and get into all sorts of mischief.
One memory from a much earlier time – was of Robyn being tied to the clothesline – the perpetrators of this crime allegedly were Raymond and Phil. Who to this day if questioned will staunchly deny their involvement – but I have it on authority that there are witnesses ( Cold case DNA still pending).
I also have a very early childhood memory of Aunty Rob looking after Stacey and I at the little flat near St Ethels where Rob lived after her first marriage to Gerard. With pride in this flat she welcomed two sons – Mark and Brett. And the memory is strong of a day in the sun where the theme music was Elvis and giggles abounded.
She was ever proud of the man Brett has become and adored his boys. And although she couldn’t recently hide her heartbreak with Mark, she did love him. As heartbreak is only caused by a deep love of your child and your desire for them to find their way home when they become so lost. I know that she loved her great grandchildren dearly and was forging a relationship as best she could given the circumstances.
In 1989 she met Stephen Winfield. Who would become her partner in renovation and holidays and ultimately the love of her life and her soul partner. With Steve came an extended family. More to love and surround herself with and cherish. She embraced all as her own and always had a kind word even though at times her heart was breaking.
But as far as soul mates go – Steve – well he was it. And they sealed the deal on New Years Eve in 1993. And it was a better party than 1999 would ever know how to be. Mum catered the wedding, and almost forgot the cake – she was also the Matron Of Honor , Jess was a little flowergirl ( her dress would later become a favourite of her little cousin Josef) and I of course – being young and wild and crazy , managed to get drunk and split my pants as I danced. Yes it was a great party indeed.
Together Robyn and Steve would create many memories. And renovate and flip many houses. They say renovations can make or break a couple but each renovation made them closer. And they also loved to travel. They loved Tasmania – and even talked of moving there.
I got an odd call from Aunty Rob just before they left for a holiday to Tassie one time…
“Hey You –Ya Tart – she’d say – and Id say yes you old bat what do you bloody want now??” Fits of giggles would ensue before she got her point across. You see – she had made me her executor of her will at that stage and wanted me to know where it was just in case ( you know in case of tragedy and demise in that dangerous “overseas crossing”)…
As I grew older – the phone calls started to start with Hey Old Girl – and this was ripe – coming from the ultimate old girl herself. So Id say back – who are you calling old girl – but now – in hindsight – she probably wasn’t much older than I am now when I started calling her old girl, old bat – crazy woman..
All in all – not much older at all and I know – Im equally as crazy – its bound to be genetics.
Aunty Rob was always a classic for a joke – and she would always give Megans and my husbands equally as hard a time back as they gave her she loved the boys – and loved seeing our children come along.
Conversations at family events were always a riot and loud and ended in silly stories or anecdotes of what we had been up too, and usually with a slap across the back of the head to one of the boys – for being a little too cheeky. We all had our little special jokes with her. To outsiders the banter may have seemed offensive – but it was just that banter – and it kept us all on our toes.
Megan and Rob also had a special bond. They always accused each other of being equally the biggest family witch. Megan got to visit Rob on Saturday just before she passed. She – in her Megan and Rob way – had to have the final banter. She whispered to Rob – its ok now. Its time to hang the broomstick – I reckon you’ve finally earned your wings.
When she rang me to tell me about her recent bout of influenza TYPE A – of course I consulted doctor google… and when she was questioned about it – and gave evasive answers on facebook – it was my right as her favourite niece and goddaughter to cheekily answer “OINK OINK” she knew if she said the words out loud “ SWINE FLU” the jokes would start. And they did – but as always she gave it back with the banter. I know she was also prior to this bout of flu – busy cleaning out the van for a much awaited driving holiday to visit “her kids” . She was incredibly proud of all of her children and grandchildren and loved them dearly.
Aunty Rob was also the Queen of the Bargain hunt. She was honestly the best treasure hunter I know. She had an eye for a bargain and loved to op shop, she also volunteered for many organisations such as Vinnies and Adra. She deserved a medal with worlds best op shopper /volunteer – hope there’s op shops behind the pearly gates – Bet if there isn’t – there will be soon as Aunty Rob will open one up! She will be the head of the committee. She was even on the board of directors for Finding Yellow – a Hostel for People with Disabilities here in Cessnock.
She was incredibly proud of the latest renovation she and Steve were working on and super chuffed with her new street number, absolutely loved to see peoples reactions when they saw it ( she was quite the dirty bird) .
At one stage we actually had a “bath off “ it seemed. She would send me photos of hers in the living room – Id send her photos of mine. She did get in that bath – but the damned thing tripped her over – and sadly – we now all know the outcome.
We would get weekly text updates of where the renovation was at – and what room she was moving into next. She was always proud of every renovation she and Steve had done together – but this one seemed more special than others. Or maybe it was because she had learned to use her smart phone and enjoyed taking photos and sending us updates.
In her last weeks she knew that the end was coming and through sometimes constant pain she still managed to sort and organise gifts for those she held close to her heart. I will treasure my gift always – just as I treasure precious moments like the conversation we had recently when I was dealing with grief and recovering from surgery. She told me to follow my heart to make it happen. And don’t worry – I will.
So Aunty Rob – I reckon tonight – Im going to go home and grab a glass of bubbles get in my tub – and Im going to think of you.
I know you loved your tub and I know you would have loved to use it more than you did. I want to thank you for being you. Crazy, loopy, fun you. Always up for a joke always good for a laugh and always one to sign off on I love you.
When she was first admitted to hospital the one thing Aunty Rob wanted was a lemon meringue pie – that and green frogs ( lemon meringue pie I get – but green frogs really?? Everyone knows red ones are best!) I delivered the pie and to boot a jar of curd to slurp and I know she enjoyed every mouthful that she could.
So – Aunty Rob …I hope they make a bloody good lemon meringue pie in heaven, Im still not sold on the green frogs oh and if you come across grandma there – I know the curd will be amazing, I only ever learned from the best.
Now theres one last thing that needs to be said and its about the care that Aunty Rob received in this last few weeks of her life. Even after her surgery she was still full of cheek as sass and I know that she would like to send a special shout to Gorgeous and Lovely as she called the girls at John Hunter – especially to the lovely one who made her porridge one morning when she didn’t want anymore bloody wheat bix ( this was also the day I accidentally gave her liquid movicol instead of water – and we giggled that it was pretty shitty of me)…
On behalf of Aunty Rob and Steve – they also wanted to say a HUGE thank you to the staff of Cessnock Hospital and Finally – there are not enough thank yous in the world to express the gratitude they feel to the nursing staff of Paxton Unit at Clavary Mater Nursing Home in Allandale.
Thank you for listening to my waffle today and may you all go home tonight and raise a glass of something to the woman that was Robyn Winfield. Forever in our hearts and memories.
The Domesticated Ms Hemsworth 